Improving your self esteem and confidence

To start check out these 2 great podcasts covering identity and self esteem. Lets talk about… identity from lets talk about mental health  Reprogram your identity by the Mindset Mentor.

If people have low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, they may have an unbalanced view of themselves and feel doubtful of their abilities or what they have to offer. This can negatively affect people’s relationships, work, or studies. Without interventions, it may also have a negative impact on their mental and physical health.

Confidence is the belied a person has in themselves and their abilities and ideas. If a person has confidence, they generally understand and accept themselves as they are.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) self-esteem is how someone perceives themselves and how they feel about who they are and what they do. 

A person with high levels of self-esteem will feel positively about themselves and recognise their good qualities. In contrast, someone with low self-esteem may feel negatively about themselves and may not see themselves worthy of love, feeling good, or having a successful, happy life.

Tips to improves self-esteem and confidence 

Be kind to yourself:

• Challenge unkind thoughts and replace them with positive self-talk, as though speaking with a loved one
• Avoid comparison to others and consider avoiding media or social media accounts that may lead to negative thoughts
• Use positive affirmations, put post it notes on your mirror to see each morning 
• Remind yourself that it is okay to make mistakes, everyone does

Practice self-care:

Looking after your physical health can help your mental health.

• Try to sleep well – 7+ hours for adults is recommended, create a calm environment and bedtime routine
• Eat a balanced diet – try a nutritious bowl for lunch one day using anything your can find in your fridge/cupboard such as tomatoes, peppers, sweet potato, cous cous, broccoli 
• Take part in physical activity – why not join a local netball or football team, sign up to couch to 5k plan, or book a tennis court with a friend one night after work 

Try to focus on the positives:

Celebrate your successes and keep a note of:

• Your achievements – open the notes app and start jotting down everything you have achieved in the past year, however small or big
• Compliments you have received – create an email file for every time you receive a message about what you have done well so you can check back

Other tips:

• Spend time with people that feel positive to be around
• Practice being assertive, which may mean saying “yes” or “no” to others to set boundaries
• Take part in activities that feel fun and enjoyable
• Learn to project the appearance of confidence with body language and speaking patterns, which may influence how people feel internally
• Learn a new skill, meet different people, or try a new experience

Signs people may have low self-esteem if they:

• are highly critical of themselves
• ignore or downplay their positive qualities
• think they are inferior to their peers
• use negative words when describing themselves
• has negative self-talk
• avoid taking credit for their achievements, instead putting it down to luck
• blame themselves for things that go wrong rather than considering other factors that are out of their control
• does not believe compliments about them

Signs of low confidence may include:

• feelings of self-doubt
• passive or submissive behaviour
• difficulty trusting others
• feeling inferior to others
• overly sensitive to criticism
• feeling unloved

Support 

• Understood: A nonprofit with a wide range of resources and articles on emotional and mental well-being.
• GoodTherapy: Has a range of articles on self-esteem and confidence, as well as a search tool to find a therapist.
• BetterHelp is an online service created to help you with your mental health. Sign up and find support for your mental health from a licensed therapist. 20% off your first month with code “MedicalNewsToday”

5 creative goal setting activities to try…

1. THE “100 WISHES” CHALLENGE

This exercise gets your creative juices flowing! Grab a notebook and jot down 100 things you wish to experience, learn, achieve, or create in your lifetime. Don’t hold back – dream big, be specific and let your wishes take shape.

After, review your list and circle a few that ignite the biggest spark of excitement. Those circled wishes can become the foundation of new goals!

2. DESIGN YOUR IDEAL DAY

Close your eyes and picture your perfect day. What activities fill your time? Who are you with? How do you feel? Now, turn that vision into goals.

Can you incorporate elements of your perfect day into your real life? Break down what makes that day so ideal and aim to bring those pieces into your everyday routine.

3. THE “30-DAY EXPERIMENT”

Always wanted to try yoga, learn a new language, or start journaling? The 30-day experiment is your chance! Choose something you’re curious about, commit to trying it for 30 consecutive days, and document the experience.

You might uncover a hidden passion or simply learn something new about yourself!

4. THE GRATITUDE JAR

Start a gratitude jar! Each day, write down one thing you’re grateful for and drop it in. At the end of a set period (a month, a year), revisit your jar.

These notes of gratitude can be inspiration for future goals aligned with what brings you joy or serve as reminders for what you already value.

5. WRITE A LETTER FROM YOUR FUTURE SELF

Imagine yourself five or ten years from now. What have you achieved? What does your life look like? Write a letter from this future self to your present self, full of advice, encouragement, and a vivid description of your successes.

Use this letter as a roadmap for the kind of future you want to create.

How to Be Successful in Reaching Your Goals – 9 Psychological Strategies to Get Ahead in Life by Very Well mind (2024)